I had a lot of angst leading up to yesterday.  It was going to be our first time hearing this sweet babies heart beat.  Since I’m still early on at 11 weeks the risk of miscarriage is higher than when I get into my second trimester.  Every strange feeling or little cramp left my nerves in high alert counting down the days, minutes, seconds until our midwife appointment.  I started to get so worried I brought nausea on myself.

But then the time finally came for our appointment.

We got checked in.  Went through the normal height, weight, pee in a cup and health questions, then were brought back to our room.  We met our midwife Patty, one of the three in the practice.  She was warm, welcoming and really took an interest in us.  She asked us tons of questions, shared lots of information and then at the end, said it was time to listen to baby.  Jacob and I both got really excited.

She took out the fetal doppler, the device used to listen to the baby’s heart beat, started out by saying that if she didn’t hear a heart beat, she wouldn’t be worried.  It could be too early to hear because their device is not as strong as a regular hospitals, and also where my uterus is located could make a difference in the ability to hear.  She began.  We found my heart beat — much slower than a babies will be.  She kept looking, thinking she almost heard it.  She searched for about 5 minutes, then turned the machine off.

Again she told us that she was not worried.  But I was.  I immediately told her my fears of the baby not having a heart beat.  Of course I started to cry too.  We were both anxiously looking forward to hearing something.  We had yet to hear or see the baby, so how did we really know everything was okay?

Patty hugged me, told me everything would be okay and my worries and emotions were understandable and perfectly okay to have.  She gave us a couple options.  She could put an order in for an ultrasound and we could try to get in that day, but we may have to wait until Monday, or we can come back in 2 weeks and listen again.  We both said ultrasound today.  I got changed and ready to head downstairs.

She handed me my ultrasound order, assured me it was going to be okay, hugged me on the way out again, and we headed downstairs.

Even though they can’t do ultrasounds or pull labs at the midwifery, it’s nice that the services are offered super close.  We were checking in at scheduling within minutes.  I think one of the midwifes called the ultrasound scheduling because they knew my name and were able to squeeze me in that day.  It was already 3:30pm on a Friday, and the last thing we wanted to do was worry all weekend long.

After a 10-15 minute wait, we were called back.  Our ultrasound tech had me lift my shirt, lower my pants and he placed the warm gel on my stomach.  He started right away, then immediately said “there’s your baby”.  “Really?” Then he turned the screen on and sure enough, our baby was moving and kicking like crazy!

We saw everything.  Each little limb and the pump, pump, pumping heart beat.  Jacob and I were just in awe with goofy smiles on our face.  He told us everything looked perfect and the baby’s size was right it should be.

He spent a lot of time getting all his pictures and measurements.  We happily stared at the screen the whole time.

He left us with the first pictures of our baby, the first time seeing our little one.  But more than just pictures, it with a huge relief.  After seeing that everything is going along perfectly and knowing that our baby is healthy, safe and alive we feel very blessed.

Heather

 

0 thoughts on “from tears to joy”

  1. I had a similar experience. So scary. I had a little spotting and went for an OB appt and it seemed like it took forever to hear the heart beat. I started crying, then the OB found it, but wanted and ultrasound to check dates. I was 11 weeks. 2 days later,not only did we find out everything was right on track but there were 2 babies, twins!

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